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Pillow Talk: 10 Questions to Ask Your Partner About Sleep

Getting a good night’s sleep can be a game-changer. When you sleep on your own it can be easy to set things up to get your best sleep. Adding someone else to the equation can make sleep a little more complicated. While you know your behaviors and needs, you may not always know your partner’s. We want to share sleep questions to ask your partner for a better night’s sleep!

Sleep Questions to Ask Your Partner:

Check out these ten questions you can ask your partner to help both of you get a better night’s sleep.

What is your ideal sleep schedule?

Having a sleep schedule can help you to make sleep a priority. This might mean going to bed at a certain time or waking up at a certain time. For some, it may even mean getting a certain amount of sleep. While your sleep schedule is set for you, it may not overlay well with your partner’s sleep schedule. And any discussion of optimal sleep should include sleep’s affect on your overall health. Take some time to discuss sleep schedules and see how you can best accommodate one another.

Should phones/TVs be allowed in the bed?

Screen time before bed can work against a good night’s sleep. The stimulation from these screens can work against a good night’s sleep. For some, the transition to avoiding screen time can be a simple one. For others, it is not as easy to add to the routine. When talking with your partner it is important to discuss the policy on screen time in bed. This simple conversation can help both of you to get better sleep.

Which pillows are a must for you?

The pillows you use can make or break the night’s sleep. When sharing a bed with a partner it’s important to discuss which pillows you need to get a good night of sleep. Is the side sleeper pillow yours? Do you have to have a body pillow? Take some time to help your partner understand which pillows you have to use. This will save you a disagreement over your partner taking a pillow you really need.

How does your daytime behavior impact your sleep?

When it comes to sleep, how you behave during the day can impact how you sleep at night. For instance, some may need to have a full day, visit the gym, or take a nice walk. Take some time to talk about what things during the day can help encourage a full night’s sleep. It may be that you need to make time for some of this as a couple. If not, it may help you to be understanding if your partner needs to visit the gym each day.

Are there things you don’t consume at night?

Items such as caffeine and sugar can work against a good night of sleep. It can be normal to want an afternoon cup of coffee or an evening dessert. Have a conversation with your partner about whether these items impact your ability to sleep well. You may need to switch to decaf or pick a treat that is lower on sugar. Take some time to talk about what foods and drinks work against sleep so that you can look out for one another.

Does napping impact your sleep?

A weekend nap can be a wonderful thing as a way to unwind after a long week. For some, napping can actually work against sleep at night. While this nap may seem like a great idea during the day, it can wreak havoc on sleep cycles. Take some time to discuss how napping impacts your sleep with your partner. It may help you to decide if you need to pick an alternative way to relax together so that you can both get a full night of sleep.

How does your bedroom environment impact sleep?

Don’t underestimate the impact your bedroom environment has on sleep. For some, sleep can only happen with a fan or white noise machine. For others, those same devices would work against a good night’s sleep. Ask about things such as noise, fans, blankets, and even lighting in the room. It can help to get on the same page about these different needs. If you don’t agree, it may be time to work on a compromise so you can both get your best sleep.

Do you like to be touched?

When trying to get a good night’s sleep it can be important to set some boundaries. While some are made to cuddle, others may be completely against being touched. Some partners will be kind and let someone lean in closer while sacrificing a good night of sleep. Ask your partner how much they do or do not want to be touched at night. Having this conversation can help you to set boundaries you can both be comfortable with.

Are there any sleep disorders?

Sleep disorders can definitely change the way that both partners are able to sleep. If you have sleep apnea, you may need a CPAP that can be loud and impact the sleep of your partner. If you or your partner sleepwalk, that can cause a fright if this is something that wasn’t discussed. Snoring and sleep talking can also impact the overall quality of sleep you are able to get. Take some time to discuss any sleep disorders that might impact your partner and talk about how to minimize their impact.

How do you best unwind?

Before going to sleep at night it can help to take some time to unwind. Not everyone unwinds in the same way though. For some, it can be helpful to read a good book, have a warm cup of tea, or take a relaxing bath. For others, it can be helpful to watch a few videos on their favorite social media, watch a favorite show, or listen to music they really enjoy. Take some time to discuss these things so that you can honor the needs your partner has for winding down at the end of the day.